Are you a People Pleaser?

If you’re feeling invisible and inadequately appreciated by the people in your life, often find yourself wanting others’ approval and putting others’ needs ahead of your own, you may engage in people-pleasing tendencies. People pleasing is a common behavior characterized by the excessive need to seek approval and meet the expectations of others. 


While a desire to please others can be driven by positive intentions such as maintaining harmonious relationships, it often comes at a cost to one’s own mental health. It is crucial to strike a balance between fulfilling personal needs and meeting the expectations of others. In this essay, we will explore the impact of people-pleasing on mental health and provide guidelines for maintaining well-being.

People pleasers tend to notice a lot of negative impacts to their mental health. Oftentime, this behavior inherently results in self-neglect. Constantly prioritizing the needs of others over our own can lead to neglecting self-care and personal well-being. Neglecting our own needs can result in increased stress, anxiety, and even burnout.

Additionally, these tendencies can have an adverse effect on self-esteem. This can even go so far as to cause low self-esteem in many individuals. Relying on external validation and constantly seeking approval can erode self-esteem. When self-worth is tied to pleasing others, it becomes fragile and vulnerable to fluctuations based on others’ opinions.

Perhaps most devastatingly, people pleasing can also cause emotional exhaustion. Engaging in people pleasing can be emotionally draining. Constantly managing the expectations and emotions of others can leave individuals feeling overwhelmed, leading to heightened stress and emotional exhaustion. The reality is that you can’t put the responsibility for other people’s happiness on yourself. You need to focus on your own happiness

If you see people pleasing tendencies in yourself, consider the following guidelines for maintaining stronger mental health practices:

  1. Self-awareness: Developing self-awareness is essential in understanding our own needs, values, and boundaries. By knowing ourselves better, we can recognize when our people-pleasing tendencies are jeopardizing our mental health.
  2. Prioritize self-care: Self-care is not selfish; it is necessary for maintaining mental well-being. Set aside time for activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Prioritize self-care practices that replenish your energy and foster a healthy relationship with yourself.
  3. Set realistic boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in maintaining a healthy balance between meeting the expectations of others and taking care of oneself. Learn to say “no” when necessary and communicate your limits in a respectful manner.
  4. Practice self-compassion: Cultivating self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Embrace imperfections and be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. Acknowledge that it is impossible to please everyone all the time, and that is perfectly okay.
  5. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and support. Talking about your struggles with people pleasing can help you gain perspective, validate your experiences, and receive valuable advice.

While there is value in maintaining positive relationships and caring for the needs of others, it is vital to prioritize our mental health and well-being. People pleasing, when taken to extremes, can have detrimental effects on our emotional and psychological state. By practicing self-awareness, setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support, we can strike a healthy balance between meeting others’ expectations and maintaining our mental health. Remember, true well-being comes from within and is nurtured by honoring ourselves alongside our relationships with others.

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