Going the Wrong Way on a One-Way Street

Hello reader,

We humans are inherently social beings, and depend on our communities and societies for survival. Beyond the larger scale of social structures, we also depend heavily on relationships within our more immediate circles. Family, friends, colleagues, and classmates are a vital part of our well-being and happiness. However, as important as all of these people are, they can also take a toll on us if we don’t manage expectations well.

If you notice yourself “running on empty” so to speak, it’s important to take a step back and explore your dynamics in relationships. Do you tend to take care of others? Do people rely on you for emotional support or caretaking in some capacity? While these can be beautiful and important qualities that you have to offer the world, they can take a toll on your mental health.

Do you ever feel like you are going the wrong way on a one-way street? This could be described as a sensation of being drained, exhausted and depleted. These symptoms may feel physical, like your energy is not where it should be, that getting out of bed or fulfilling commitments is a struggle. However, there may not be a medical reason for these feelings. Instead, you may notice these sensations are rooted in emotional energy.

When we engage in people-pleasing, pouring our energy into the needs of others while neglecting ourselves, this can feel mentally and emotionally depleting. We need to remember to focus on ourselves and prioritize what we need as well. This alone may not be enough, because if your relationships feel unbalanced, it will catch up to you sooner or later.

The ultimate goal here is to create equitable and balanced relationships in our lives. Pay attention to the priorities and things that people place their importance on. When those things seem to be selfish in nature, or focused away from you, this is a sign that you are not being valued adequately. Find ways of setting boundaries with people, or clarifying what your expectations are for the relationship, and ultimately be ready to enforce consequences when these needs and boundaries are not respected. People who are used to taking you for granted or relying too much on what you can provide them with may need to learn your value the hard way – by having less access to you and less time and energy from you.

Never forget the value of what you bring to the metaphorical table in your relationships. Others get a lot out of having you around, and you deserve to receive the same level of respect, care and consideration that you give out. Working to create balanced, equitable relationships is challenging, and requires constant maintenance and open communication. However, if as you pay attention to your feelings and your energy level, you notice that something is off, it is always worth speaking up for yourself. Those who truly value you will be glad you spoke up.

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