The Work of Healing is Never Done

In the spirit of positive vibrations and manifestation, I want you to consider that if you’re reading this, my message was meant to reach you today. And while the laws of the universe may have conspired to bring you these words, I also have a hunch that you needed to hear them. My focus for myself and for you is one of healing. While we often think of healing in the physical sense, for me this is a highly emotional and mental task as well. And I realize that you also are called to the challenge of healing because this world is inherently hurtful and damaging. While neither you nor I can do anything to change the nature of our reality, we can learn new ways of responding to it and taking care of ourselves. 

So many of the clients that I talk to belittle themselves constantly. We all do it to some extent, dismissing our pain and unhappiness as not worth talking about or sharing because it’s not as bad as what someone else is going through, or it’s “first world problems.” If you are playing the game of comparisons, you’ll always lose because no matter what it is, someone else in the world is suffering more than you, and someone is suffering less. Or in reality, we are all suffering differently, but everyone is going through mental and emotional pain. What you are feeling, worried about, hurting over, is valid and you don’t need to justify the way that you feel. You also don’t need to ignore your feelings. Let yourself have your emotions, even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it scares you. The only way out is through.

While we all have trauma, it doesn’t look the same for each of us. Some psychologists differentiate between big “T” traumas and little “t” traumas. But the main point is, life itself is inherently creating pain and suffering, it is the very nature of our reality. We have to take responsibility for the way that we feel and the way we hurt. Part of this is about allowing ourselves to have our feelings and recognize them.

It is also vitally important to talk to the people in our lives about how we feel and what we’re going through. We are social creatures and we benefit immensely from leaning on each other for support. When we share how we’re really doing with people who care and are supportive, it opens us up to seeing our lives from different perspectives. We will see our strengths, our challenges and our successes in a whole new light.

Bullying itself is a form of trauma. The agressor is often a traumatized person who has no other way of expressing, soothing or coping with the pain that they feel, so instead of processing in a healthy manner, they turn outward to inflict their trauma on others they perceive as vulnerable. Anti Bullying work is an act of healing. By becoming an Upstander to bullying, you are helping to diffuse a traumatic situation for all involved. While both the agressor and the person being targeted will have to go on their own healing journey, by intervening in these bullying situations and getting support for the targeted person, you are helping to bring an end to this awful cycle of pain.  

Always remember to care for yourself and focus on taking care of yourself before taking care of others. You have to fill your own cup before you can help to replenish others. Happy healing!

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