February is a month where it’s pretty hard to ignore the idea of love. Never mind the endless winter days, paper hearts, and heart-shaped chocolate boxes that are impossible to ignore. I am especially partial to this season, as Valentine’s Day happens to also be my wedding anniversary, so I love celebrating the holiday and giving in to the cupid-ity of this time of year.
However, taking a moment to reflect on the “why” of Valentine’s Day, and looking beyond the cards and candies it does prompt the question of how this connects to our mental health, and mission to end bullying. In the iconic words of Tina Turner, “What’s love got to do with it?” We often limit the idea of love to a specific type of relationship or to a type of experience. Love is for some a word, and for others an emotion. However, love is also an action, an action that we take towards other people.
The ancient Greeks had four different words for love, each word describing a different aspect of the love that we experience even today. Philia refers to love in a friendship. Eros refers to romantic love. Storge is the word for love of family members. And lastly, Agape is the love for other human beings, a universal empathy for all. While Valentine’s Day invites us to focus on our romantic relationships, the endless hearts and acts of kindness that pop up this time of year have me thinking about the ways in which we can combine the emotions and actions of love outward into the world around us.
This type of thinking is a radical shift. Love is not something that intends to receive something in return – it is something that is selflessly given. It is something that may even be given at a cost to oneself. I think of the discomfort one can feel in a moment of conflict, or a loss of status or popularity one can experience when they challenge themselves to stand up to an aggressor on behalf of someone else in need.
This is the message of being an Upstander. It is an act of love, an act of selflessness and taking an action of love. Not merely words (there is a component of saying words of course), not only an emotion (though there is absolutely an emotional drive to wanting to support others and building safer and more inclusive communities), being an Upstander is engaging with your sense of Agape, your love for all humanity. This spring, we have a new opportunity to bring the actions and the mentality of Upstanders to our schools and workplaces. Let’s set a clear message to all that not only do we hold a love for all humanity, but also the values of respect, equality and kindness are expectations for all who participate in these community spaces to strive for. These steps towards progress don’t happen on their own, it happens through your efforts and strivings. Take the pledge to become an Upstander today, and bring the #Day1 Campaign to your school or workplace. You can bring about the change you want to see.