Having spent several years in public education, I’ve often wondered what traits, skills, and strategies help students become successful. I am by no means an expert, but I do believe I can draw some connections between student practices and “success” as best we can measure it. At the Tyler Clementi Foundation, success means being an Upstander and encouraging others to do the same by acting with integrity, kindness, empathy, and compassion; it also means working tirelessly to create inclusive environments in their school, workplaces, or faith communities. In essence, their goal is to make positive change in their community.
Our Youth Ambassadors program brings together students from around the country to plan anti-bullying actions in their communities. My role as the program manager is to educate and coach students toward planning successful events, campaigns, and projects. Part of that work includes identifying how bullying is a problem, to whom/where it occurs, and how to best encourage Upstander behavior. Across various school and community contexts, our Youth Ambassadors are deeply invested in kindness, empathy, and compassion for others, regardless of their real or perceived differences. So what does it take to be successful in change-making work? These are some of the skills and habits that have enabled students to succeed in bringing about positive change. Skills and habits that, I would guess, also encourage success in their academic, professional, and personal lives.
Lead by Example, Be Community-Minded, and Set Clear Goals
Our Youth Ambassadors truly exemplify the positive change that they hope to see in their schools, workplaces, and faith communities. They treat others with respect, kindness, compassion, and always strive to do the right thing.
They also think locally by working to identify specific problems facing students in their communities. Not all students experience bullying, but many still see it is a serious problem that deserves our attention. Our students are most successful when they focus on those most negatively impacted by bullying and harassment.
Finally, they set clear goals for their anti-bullying work. Importantly, Youth Ambassadors understand that planning a project will be nearly impossible without a clear goal. As such, they work backwards from their end-goal to complete detailed action steps while remaining focused on the big picture.
Stay Curious, Humble, and Positive
Upstanders are curious and humble about diversity, equity, and inclusion. As our country becomes more diverse, successful young people understand the need for inclusive spaces that promote affinity among peers. Students who are successful in this work know that everyone’s experience is unique and a strong community member seeks to understand the perspectives of those who are different from them.
They stay focused on a positive message. Our student Upstanders understand that positive change comes from positive messages. Therefore they work to promote kindness, empathy, and compassion. Essentially, instead of getting caught up in negative experiences with bullying, they encourage others to be Upstanders.
Education and Effective Communication for Change
Upstanders understand that change comes through education and prioritize effective communication strategies. While we certainly need policies and regulations to protect students from bullying, we believe that when people understand the harmful effects of bullying, they will be more likely to show kindness for others. Our students who are successful, use this theory of change to educate their peers about why bullying is a serious issue worthy of their attention.
When our Youth Ambassadors succeed, they are often thinking deeply about how they are communicating. Growing up in the digital age, many of our students have an innate understanding of communicating on social media and through other new forms of digital communication. Part of our work is to encourage them to think about their audience and how to best encourage them to be Upstanders.
In outlining these skills and habits, I can’t help but think they would be worth some reflection. I, for one, have learned a lot and been inspired by our Youth Ambassadors. Whether you have a young child or work with students, these habits of change-making are worth recognizing.